Planet MadDog

The Big O(versight)

Am I the only one who thought that Roy Orbison was blind? I couldn't possibly be. I mean, honestly, look at him. He always wore those big-ass dark glasses, looking slightly off-centre. He never moved around much, preferring to perform standing still in the middle of the stage. Of course, it all makes sense, but how could I be the only person I know who thought this? Anyway, I did my research and sure enough he could indeed see, although he did have poor eyesight.

Before a concert he forgot his regular prescription glasses on the airplane and only had his prescription sunglasses with him. So he preformed with his sunglasses on that night and the next day the newspaper completely focused on his sunglasses and not so much his performance that evening! He knew that it might be a good way to get an image that could last.

Also he enjoyed driving motorcycles and cars, which would be a bloody stupid thing for a blind person to do.

Posted by a very sheepish MadDog on Monday September 29, 2003 at 8:48 AM - 3 comments

Scraping the bottom of the DIY barrel

Please make it stop.I'm sure I'm not alone when I say these 6 words:

Enough with the lifestyle shows already!

Jamie Dury and the Backyard Blitz team, God love 'em, they're an alright sort of bunch, but If I hear them give the same damn advice about bloody dove-tail joints, lillypilly or sandstone pavers, I think I'll go quite mad... umm.. well, madder anyway. I think this whole lifestyle/DIY genre has gone way too far. It seems that TV executives have seen some urgent need to have twelve different shows where they teach you how to cook 2-minute noodles or come and fix up your house and garden, but I think someone needs to draw the line here. I shit you not, the other night, Jamie Oliver taught me how to make a sandwich, and then went on to explain the best way to cut it in half. "What's that, Jamie? Cut it diagonally with a serrated knife? No fucking way! Really?" I was heard yelling at my TV that night. Gabriel Gaté would be turning in his grave if he heard that. Oh, and if he were dead. Yes.

Posted by a very fed up MadDog on Friday September 5, 2003 at 9:41 AM - 4 comments

Generic clothing brands

And, while I'm in this innebriated state of conciousness, what the hell is with these generic brands of clothing that you seem to only be able to buy at Trash'n'Treasure type of merchants. For example, I've just noticed something about my comfy sweatshirt thing that I've worn for years, you know the garment I'm talking about, that top you always pull over when you're taking a sick day off work. Mine bears the slogan "Sport: Inter-sport Group". What the HELL does that mean? Is there some actual association nestled away at the foot of the Swiss Alps studying the art of sports and otherwise athletic activity, who somehow decided to market thier brand of green-blue sweatshirts through some quasi-asian clothing stand, constructed from blue tarpaulins and tent-poles, who travels from flea-market to flea-market, traversing the many podunk towns in central Victoria?

I also have a windcheater (they cheat the wind, apparently) that reads "University of Iowa". Now, I don't have a freakin' clue whether the US state of Iowa actually has a damned university, or whether their logo comprises of some mule pulling a cart, but when I pull on that comfortable fleecy top, I don't really give a damn. This jumper could have "I love noodles!" emblazoned across the front, and I wouldn't care.

Coming soon: Look out for my new range of sick-ware, sweeping the nation. Features the slogans: "I [heart] noodles]!" and "Urkel for presdent!".

I apologise in advance for those who make absolutely no damned sense from this post.

Posted by a very drunk MadDog on Friday August 8, 2003 at 9:52 PM - 5 comments

The intoxicated state

Look, mate. I don't know about you, but I've had about two bottles of vino and I'm pretty tipsy.

[EDIT: After much deliberation with my inner-self, this paragraph has been removed due it making absolutely no sense whatsoever. This isn't something I'd normally do, rather preferring to leave posts online for historical reasons, even if I've said something I've regretted. In this instance, I've made an exception. It was total shambles of zero interest to anybody, including myself.]

Whoa, I'm drunk.

Note: I've had to spell check this post about seven times, making this about the most intoxicated post on Planet MadDog ever! Wooooooo!

Note: I've totally got the hiccups... whoa...

Posted by a very melodramatic MadDog on Friday August 8, 2003 at 9:52 PM - 2 comments

Current Affairs

I just read in the newspaper that young Aussie pop star, Vanessa Amorosi, is to be executed by firing squad. Although it seems a bit extreme, I, for one, think that it's about time. We have had to put up with her high-pitched warbling for far too long now.

UPDATE:  I've... um... re-read the article and it appears I've made a slight... err... error. It's actually convicted Bali terrorist bomber Amrozi bin Nurhasyim that is to be executed... not Vanessa... This is great news for the survivors and families of the victims who may get some sense of justice from this decision, although personally I think it's an easy way out for a killer who wants to die. This is also great news for a lady I hold in very high esteem, that great Aussie talent, Vanessa Amorossi, who I hope goes on to live a long and very prosporous life making horrible, horrible music.

Posted by a very jubilant MadDog on Friday August 8, 2003 at 11:15 AM - 0 comments

I made this!

WOOHOO! Look at the little dude jump!
Click here to download a commemorative movie file, complete with dodgy soundtrack. Windows Media Format (3.6MB)
Avid readers of this site will notice I've been a little out of it for a while now. Well I can now finally reveal the big news that Gracie and I are expecting a BABY! We're about 13 weeks into the ordeal now and just had the ultrasound that is as per the norm for around this stage of the pregnancy. Now that it's safe to break the news, we've been telling practically everyone. It's getting difficult to keep track of who we've told and who we havent. I'm often asked when we found out, and if it was a surprise. Well, I can sort of say that we already knew we were having a baby before it was even concieved. You see, this baby was concieved through IVF, that is, that the egg was extracted, fertilised in a lab and then re-inserted. So while I didn't actually get to have sex to conceive this child, I did get to watch some pretty good porn.

Everything is going pretty well so far, with bub at a healthy size and heart-rate. Gracie's been as sick as a dog though. She has a bit of trouble sleeping (I swear her bladder is the size of a peanut), and she goes through these phases where everything either tastes fantastic or like poop. Unfortunately, on these off days, food seldom stays down, and we've got a nice little puddle at the side of our house from when Gracie gets out of the car. Oh well. At least the neighbourhood cats get fed.

Yesterday was the day for our 13-week ultrasound (usually 12 week, but the only appointment for last week would have been at 8:30am, and there's no way Gracie could drink enough water to fill her tiny bladder by then), which brought excitement levels to new heights. This was the second ultrasound I had attended, although the first one was when the baby was about the size of a pea (although you could still see a heart-beat).

As I watched, mezmerised by the Giger-esque images on the screen, the tiny human rolled around, waved its arms and sprung off the walls of the womb like a frog. It was quite amusing to watch. I'm convinced of the possibility that it could actually be a bizzare human-frog hybrid. Who knows what thise scientists did to it while in that test tube. We could see arms, legs, a head, spine and rib-cage. No wang was sighted at this stage, but detecting the gender via an external ultrasound at this stage is not common. We popped in the video cassette we brought with us and recorded about 5 minutes of footage.

It was getting increasingly hard not to tell people our great news, while we were contemplating names, pondering the gender of the baby, and all the other things you think about. While I'm totally wrapped, Gracie's a lot more excited about it than me, and getting clucker by the day, but that was expected seeing as I tend to get excited about simpler things like wide-screen TVs and new toys.

I'm expecting to get a lot of questions about this so I'll attempt to answer the top five questions here.

Q. So, are you going to find out the gender?
A. Hell yeah. I'm not much for that kind of suspence, so whatever makes it easier for us to plan colour schemes, clothes and accessories, we're all for it.

Q. Do you want a boy or a girl?
A. I'm going to go for the cop-out answer and say that as long as it has 10 fingers and 10 toes, I'll be happy with either. This is actually true though, because I think that both sexes would have their advantages. I think that Gracie will bond much more with a little girl, and make this a more positive experience for her, like-wise the same for me.

Q. What do you like better, caramel or strawberry topping?
A. What the hell does that have to do with anything? Get back on topic! Caramel.

Q. Are you looking forward to being woken in the middle of the night/changing nappies/being peed on?
A. Yeah, like I'd look forward to a concrete enema. Although, its all part of the package, and this is something that we've both wanted for a while now, so I think I can deal with it.

Q. What sort of dad do you think you'll be?
A. What sort of question is that? I think I'll be a pretty good one. Anyone who thinks they wont be has no business having kids. I think I'll be pretty popular with the kid, because I'll be able to share my toys with it, and vice-versa. God, I hope it'll be into video games, because it will make Christmas and birthdays easy to shop for. I'll just buy them whatever new toy that I want, and I'll get to use it. Knowing my luck, it will probably be into sports and shit.

Posted by a very elated MadDog on Tuesday July 29, 2003 at 1:44 PM - 14 comments

Hey guys! I just checked my email, and, like, did you know that you can get generic brand Viagra, prescription medication and penis enlargement products over the Internet now? Wow! What ever will those technical boffin types come up with next? Now, if only they'll send me an email telling me where I can find some horny housewives, my life will be complete.
Posted by a very amazed MadDog on Friday July 25, 2003 at 9:52 AM - 2 comments

Bye Bye Buffy

The Original ScoobiesHi. Remember me? Good. Long time no post, but I've been busy with numerous other things of late, and I've had a lot of things on my mind of late, and I guess I just thought it would be easier to not say anything at all, rather than try to think of something witty to say instead of what I really want to say. Don't worry, it's all good, and I'll fill you all in on it soon.

In other news, Buffy the Vampire Slayer has finished up in the US, and while the Americans are basking in the Buffy-completion-satisfactionness, we Aussies we left to crack the shits when Channel 7 decided to stop playing the final season with only 5 episodes to go until the big show-down, and go back about 30 episodes or so back to season 6. I ask you "WTF!?!?!11!". After the third repeat, I had a gutful and downloaded the remaining 5 episodes with my shiney new broadband internets. Braden came around last night for some of his special spag bol and to watch three of the episodes, and he's coming around tonight to finish the series.

To me, the thing about Buffy is that it's not just your average monster-of-the-week series like Charmed etc. but rather a show where even a fun and light-hearted episode can reveal crucial information that fits in with that season's story arc (or even previous or future seasons, for that matter). It will be missed, but I'm sure that whatever Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy come up with next will also be great.

Update - 9pm: Just watched the final episode. Whooooooooo! That is all.

Posted by a very weepy MadDog on Wednesday July 2, 2003 at 10:32 AM - 1 comments

Hold it! Don't shoot!
I've just learned that some bitch spammer has been using the domain to send out spam emails to the masses. If you receive spam from someone claiming to be maddogxxxx (where xxx is four radmonly generated letters) [at], please know that it was not send by me. I received about 170 failure notices over the weekend because of this. Obviously, I'm not too happy about this, and I'll be doing whatever I can to seek justice. In the meantime, I'll be closing off my open email domain. In the past, you could send an email to whatever you wanted [at] and it would all be redirected to my real email address. Now, the only mailboxes that will work on the domain will be maddog, info, webmaster and contact. Everything else will be blocked. Ta.
Posted by a very pissed off MadDog on Monday June 2, 2003 at 9:11 AM - 3 comments

There is no spoon... or is there?

Keanu Reeves: Facial Expression #312Death, taxes and a review from me about the Matrix. It had to happen.

I remember fondly watching the first Matrix. I had absolutlely no clue on what the movie was about, except for the phrase "What is the Matrix?" and seeing those special effects up there on the big screen for the first time totally blew my tiny human mind. From the moment I heard that there was to be two more movies to form a trilogy, and that it would feature even more mind-blowing effects than ever before attempted, I completely avoided all forms of hype and marketing in the hope that I could one day relive that feeling I got form the first move. But now I no longer need to plug my ears, close my eyes tight and sing "La la laaaaaa la laaaa" whenever the trailers come on TV. I have seen Matrix Reloaded.

To say that I relived the experiance of the first film would be false, however I did think the sequal was an absolute blast; a worthy part two of three. The special effects were fantastic, although sometimes they did look a little too perfect. In some instances I believe it would have been better to use a Keanu-on-wires instead of a totally CG Keanu. And the themes and concepts explored are sufficiently mind boggling to make me hunger for the final part in the tale. It does make one wonder though. Maybe we are all within a layer of the Matrix and the Brothers Wachowski are simply constructs of the Matrix, whose task it is to make movies about the Matrix to make us think that its all nothing but fiction. Oh, and also to make millions and millions of dollars. Let's not forget the dollars.

Posted by a very MadDog on Saturday May 24, 2003 at 5:31 PM - 6 comments

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