Bill Gates... Yeah, he's a real barrel of fun.
Kerry Packer? What a weird looking dude. I bet he's just great at parties...
Sultan of Who-nei? Rich people. Let's face it, they piss you off. They sit there counting their billions with this high and mighty attitude that makes you want to spit on them. But there's one dude who's recently won me over.
Richard Branson, the man who started
Virgin at the age of 15, appeard on
Rove last night and turned out to be one of the coolest rich guys I've seen and has proved to me that although money can't buy happiness, it can buy you a higher quality of misery. But Richard seems like he'd be having just as much fun even if he wasn't a billionaire. Perfect example:
this article in todays
Age. This is the same guy who launched his new
Virgin Mobile company by driving an army tank across the Sydney Harbour Bridge shooting the crowd with a
Super-Soaker. This guy kicks
ass.
I reckon, if I ever became a billionaire (not gonna happen) I'd be just like him. How does Bill Gates launch Windows 98? He stands infront of a black background and demonstrates the software
until it crashes and he becomes a laughing stock. Imagine if Bill had launched Windows with a
Kylie Minogue concert and threw
Mars bars out into the crowd while midgets danced around the stage. Microsoft wouldn't have the negative attitude towards it that it has now, I'm telling you.
My Top 10 things I'd do if I had a billion dollars
- Buy all the stuff that Gracie and I have ever wanted
- Buy a monkey and dress him up like a cowboy
- Buy one of those big druglord mansions built on the side of a cliff
- Kick the ass of my Grade 6 teacher, Mr Wangman (heheh... wang), who said I'd never amount to anything
(UPDATE: I've recently found out that he died not so long ago. Gee, don't I just feel like a big man now...)
- Buy zenny her movie theater
- Hang out with all the celebrities that I admire
- NOT buy a chopper or other light aircraft, rather, buy a chopper or light aircraft simulator.
- Buy a huge-ass video arcade with as many classic games as there are new ones
- Fund research into why my t-shirts go all frilly around the collar
- Swim around my money bin like Scrooge McDuck
