The Vandal Factor

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Vandal hey sexy
Vandal *pant pant*
MadDog ooh.. I am sexy and all but its a bit discerning coming from you ... :o)

Mikey hello mr nick at work nick!
Vandal indeed that would be me... now... before I was at Mr nick at the bank nick

Mikey i am mikey.. i make soup...
Vandal i am vandal....i play with rocks.......
Mikey we should join forces and make rock soup
Mikey rock and cabbage goulash.... i can see it now...
Vandal what shall we call this creation?
Mikey ummm ... shirley?
Vandal slogan sujestion: shirly rocks my could be a bumper sticker
Mikey *gives you a silly hat* there .. you're marketing director.. I'll get to work on a recipe...
Vandal and ill get to our advertising campain!
Mikey hurrah!
Vandal *quickly folds a silly chef hat out of paper* Youll need this to begin
Mikey ooh.. I mustn be forgetting my hatten
Vandal just be careful around the soup cos it is paper
Mikey yes.. I will follow government soup/paper hat safety protocols...
Vandal good to hear....the last thing we need for our advertising campain is bad publisity with poor soup/paper hat safety protocols
Mikey Yes.. not like last time... the press had a field day.. the prime minister was not impressed...
Vandal yeah.....sorry about that....the thing with the cheese greater wasnt such a good idea afterall
Mikey it wasnt so much the cheese grater, rather the 3 small pommeranians...
Vandal really....I thought that bit was going well.....that was until someone turned up withthat fur coat
Mikey yeah.. that WAS the problem... anyway.. I'll leave you to come up with the posters and slogans.. I must be off... soup doesnt make itself you know....
Vandal yes yes....neither do award winng ad compains. Fair well to thee
Mikey toodles...

Mikey Hey Alan M!
Vandal dude....i was at was Alan M
Mikey thats okay... hang on... YOU are Alan M!
Vandal yes....both of us are
Mikey so you are...
Vandal pesky customers
Mikey You should get Alan M to serenade them with one of his spontaneous songs... that will calm the pesky customers down and make them much easier to work with
Vandal but Alan M cant makes them leave the shop and the boss gets upset
Mikey yeah... he's not that talented... its funny, he plays the guitar well, but you never see his fingers when he does it...
Vandal thats cos he hides them under his kilt
Mikey oo er!
Vandal thast whats everyone says when they look under his kilt
Mikey i didnt even know he was scottish....
Vandal hes not
Mikey wow... he sure has a lot of courage then...
Vandal thats why people go oo er
Mikey oo er indeed!

Vandal dude!! Do you know what the go with McMedia is?
Mikey web server kaputkis...
Vandal whats actually kaputkis...
Vandal as you put it
Mikey deadski cactus kaputkis...
Vandal is that a technical deffinition?
Mikey yep.. you need to go through 6 years of techo boffo school to learn that one..
Vandal in the words of monty phython.....its dead, demised, its stuffed!
Mikey IT IS AN EX-WEBSERVER!!! heheh.. we're frantically copying websites and files across to a backup server...
Vandal heh!......always fun! Was it a Mac server?
Mikey YES!!! BLOODY WORTHLESS MACS!! okay then.. no it was a microsloth PC.. :( *I feel so ashamed* It wouldnt have happened on an amiga...
Vandal we were talking about amigas last night! Proud of me?
Vandal i had a perfect chance to hang it on you about macs then and i didnt....aren't i nice!
Mikey yeah.. you rock!! on both the not-hanging-it-on-me, and the talking-about-amigas counts...

Vandal Happy Valintines Day!
Mikey yes! same to yoooo!
Vandal Thought I better say it to someone and your the only one on line
Mikey yahooo! I feel special...
Vandal ohhhh.....warm and fuzzy

Mikey Are the rumous true?
Vandal which?
Mikey That you like Tang...
Vandal indeed they are....but shhhhhh
Mikey *wink*
Vandal who squawked?
Mikey It was Noodles... I overheard him bragging at the soda shop...
Vandal right.....its a wedgy for him!
Mikey heheh... okay.. but dont tell him i narked on him...
Vandal you will be comended for your work
Mikey thankyou sir... and all the best for the future...
Vandal this icq will self destruct in 5 seconds
Mikey *ducks* Phew...
Vandal I must work on that destruct bit cos it seems to still work.....
Mikey it does? *pfft* Oh yeah... so it does... yeah.. needs some work...
Vandal might go get some tang and think about it
Mikey tang on!

Vandal there was just a choclate bra on the telly.........
Mikey I JUST READ ABOUT IT!! wow! what a wonderful invention...
Vandal you missed a button....may i eat your nipple?
Mikey yes, such a miraculous device that enables one to have that conversation in general conversation...
Vandal and im guessing the sort of girl to wear it wouldnt mind it!
Mikey yeah!! woo hooooo! oh happy day...
Vandal indeedit is!

Mikey i am a veritable trevortrove of information
Vandal impress me with some information then...
Mikey The atomic weight of a capsicum is .98
Vandal *gasp* now that was sure to be on "Who wants to be a salad chef?"
Mikey yep... and the global energy co-efficient of two basketballs is directly proportional to the cosine of the curve produced when said basketballs are thrown from a 2 story building by a midget named Gordon.
Vandal what happens if gordon follows the balls over off the building?
Mikey it produces enough energy to heat a thimble full of decaffinated java.
Vandal what would it take to heat a full strengh thimble of java?
Mikey Either the ejection of Gordon from a 3rd story window, or Gordon from the 2nd story whilst he clutched his pet iguana named Sleestack

Vandal what the hell is a sleestack cos I have a song that mentions it...
Mikey well, SHE'S a sleestack ofcourse....
Vandal that would be the song
Mikey Sleestack was a mythical reptillian monster like creature... or at least thats what my research has shown. See? Trevortrove!

Vandal honey have you seen the cat today.......
Vandal what did she do to the Johnsons lawn then?
Mikey yeah... she pooped on it... and it melted all the grasses...
Vandal ahhhhh......and thats why she didnt do her german home work
Mikey yeah... and the boys always laughing at her in gym
Vandal thoes lizard like legs.......the mind boggles as to what she can do with her toungh
Mikey the mind truly boggles...

Vandal way cool new band posters
Mikey YAAAY!!! Thanks... cool posters are our gimmick... we're just gunna change them every now and again... if enuff people see the posters and go "cool" then maybe they'll remember the name of the band...
Vandal just not how to pronounce it

Mikey todays search engine keywords for Planet MadDog

CHINKS WITH DINKS (8th in Google/yahoo)

I want to see naked 11 years old girls only
(thank god I come up 333rd in google for that)

wisdom tooth splinter (4th in google)

girls (only one in google/yahoo)

weird festivities (5th in google)

webcam in men's toilets (8th in google)
Vandal makes you sound like a deviat

Mikey This weeks fave search engine queries.

"the art of talking shit"
Google - #1!

Yahoo - #4

whales schlong
Google - #3

"printed toilet paper"
Yahoo - #22

shania twain's tits
Google - #3

spanked for peeking
Yahoo - #16
Vandal you are such a deviat!
Mikey BWAHAHAH!! I am...

Vandal "ET email home"......just doent have the ring....
Mikey nah... but I'm sure he would have had more luck with email that that speak-n-spell he used...
Vandal but he probly would have sent a viris and crached the space ship
Mikey yeah... bloody Klez viruses..

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