Planet MadDog

Announcing the BabyBlog

Just a quick post to let you know about the BabyBlog, a new section of this website. It's is just a simple dumping ground for my thoughts and experiences related to the raising of our new daughter Amy. It's really just here to keep a memory of what things were like around this time, and to keep it seperate from this main news page, but you may find some interest in it.

Posted by a very in love MadDog on Monday January 26, 2004 at 10:58 AM - 1 comments

A little ray of sunshine in the shape of a girl

Hi, and welcome to the BabyBlog. This is just a simple jotting pad for my thoughts and experiences related to the raising of our new daughter Amy. It's really just here to keep a memory of what things were like around this time, and to keep it seperate from the main news page, but you may find some interest in it.

First off the blocks, thanks to everyone for their messages of congratulations and well wishes. To say thank you, you can click here to download Amy's first video (3.6MB WMV file). She looks a bit red in this video, but I'm happy to report har colour has gone lightened up a bit to a nice pinkish hue. She seems to have far too much skin for her body, but I'm assured that she'll grow into it. I hope so, or else she may end up looking like one of those rolly dogs from the toilet paper commercials. Her feet are massive (and long toes which she most likely got from my Dad), so I'm betting that she got my height and not her mother's, which borders on the subterranian. She's also got a thick flock of dark brown hair, but I've been told that will thin out a bit, and also lighten up.

I went to visit Gracie and Amy in the hospital on Saturday to take that video, and got my first look at that sludgy black/green stuff. I think they call it "baby poo" or something. She was kept in the Special Care Nursery for the first 1-2 days or so to keep an eye on a bit of a temperature she had, as well as her blood sugar levels, but they have all come back as normal, so she's now in the ward with Gracie.

Gracie's in a room of her own, which is fantastic. She was going to be transferred to the private hospital, but the staff at GV Health have been great, the food has been fine, and her room, while a little small is very comfortable and private, so she's decided to stay there at the public hospital until its time for her to go hom, which hopefully will be tomorrow, after we learn a bit more about baby formula etc.

Gracie was relly hoping to breastfeed Amy, and she's really given it a solid go, but after much, much pain and conflicting advice from 3 different nurses there, Gracie's decided that all perservering with breastfeeding will do is turn her nipples into mince, and eventually make it more difficult to ween both Amy and herself off breastfeeding. It doesn't make it any easier when she's made to feel guilty about it either, by nursing staff and family alike. Sure, we both acknowledge that breast milk is best by far, but when the only thing that baby is drawing from the boob is blood, you've seriously got to consider the possibility that this might not work.

I did my first pooey nappy yesterday, and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, although I'm sure the novelty will wear off VERY soon. Gracie seems to be over it already.

Anyway, it looks like Amy and her mum will be coming home after lunch today, which is fantastic. I'm all caught up on sleep, and have the next week and a half off work, so I'm hoping I don't burn out too quickly.

Posted by a very proud MadDog on Monday January 26, 2004 at 10:24 AM - 2 comments

Happy Birthday Amy

Amy Rose McCorryOn this day, the 23rd of January, the year of our Lord, 2004, at precisely 2:16pm, Amy Rose McCorry was born naturally into this mortal world after 18 hours of labour.

Contractions began around 8:30pm the previous day, shortly after Gracie was induced. By midnight, after a bout of hand-clenchingly painful 5-minute-apart contractions (made slightly easier thanks partly to the miraculous nitrus oxide), the epidural was put in and things became a little easier, for both Gracie and myself (Although I knew Gracie was going through hell, I seriously thought she was going to destroy my hand).

Contractions continued throughout the night, but thanks to the fantastic job by Barb the anesthetist, Gracie and myself were able to get about 2 to 3 hours of kip, on and off, throughout the night. The obstetrician came in to check on things about 7:30am and ended up breaking the waters with a very painful looking device. Time passed, and the contractions got closer together until finally by 1:45pm, they had all but blended into each other. The doc had arrived at this time, took a look at Gracie's nether-regions (or as I call them, No Man's Land), and calmly said "Okay, let's deliver a baby".

Bed attachments were brought in and Gracie was hoisted up by the high-tech mechanical bed (which I secretly thought may transform into an Autobot at any time) and the real hard work began. As I began to prepare myself for a marathon session of wife calming and hair stroking, I realised that the head was already visable. Forceps were used to coax the little one down the birth canal. Once the head was visable, I patted Gracie's head with a cold washcloth, but when I looked back down, baby was just slipping out entirely... 15 minutes after we'd started.

Here's Amy, one minute old.
Above: Amy at 1 minute old.
Note grape-like appearance.
I was warned in advance that the colour of the baby was going to be a bit of a shock, but I still felt totally unprepared by the floppy, purple-grey being sitting on Gracie's chest. 30 seconds (which seemed like an eternity) later, as Amy finally began gasping for air, I started breathing again. The white goop was wiped from Amy's body, and her purple tinge became more red and less... grape-like.

Both mum and bub are doing fine. Gracie has done a fantastic job. I can really appreciate the pain and sacrifice that she's gone through for this baby, and I really can't thank her enough for her efforts (and for not swearing at me once). Amy's got a bit of a temperature, but she's in expert hands. She weighed 8 pound 2 ounces (or 3.7 kilograms in the new whizbang metric system). Hopefully, if Amy's observation results stay good, then they'll both be home very soon.

Posted by a very awestruck MadDog on Friday January 23, 2004 at 8:54 PM - 13 comments

Tiny human imminent

I know the baby counter on the right hand side there still says 23 days or something until the baby is born, but OMGWTF!?!?  It's happening NEXT WEEK!!!

Due to in part to the fact that Gracie's gestational diabetes has produced a larger bub, and also in part to the fact that the obstetrician is going away on holidays the last week of January, we've been told that the baby will definately be born by the end of next week. We have blood tests and ultrasounds to get done this week, then we see the Doc on Monday who will then tell us, based on the results of the tests, whether or not the baby will be born naturally or by a Caesar. If the baby needs to be cut out, then she'll most likely be born on Tuesday, otherwise, Gracie will be induced on Thursday or Friday.

I'll keep you all posted here with first photos as soon as anything happens. I've been officially informed by my darling wife that taking the video camera in to film the birth will result in the immediate removal of one or more testicles, however, I am allowed to take in the digital stills camera to take photos of the baby, but no photos of Gracie. I think I can handle that.

Posted by a very expectant MadDog on Thursday January 15, 2004 at 11:50 AM - 1 comments

Merry Chrimble and a Happy Eggnog!

Unless you're freaking blind, you should have noticed the new template sporting this website, complete with fake snow. I mean, I am in the middle of a heatwave over here, so real snow is a little hard to come by outside of my freezer compartment. If, in fact, you are blind, then I apologise for the insensitivity and humbly offer you an eggnog as a token of my humility. Let it not be said that I do not cater for all walks of life.

Yes, it is the week of Christmas, and if you're anything like me, you've cut your Christmas shopping way too close yet again and your calendar is choc-full of festivities. I'm officially now on holidays until 2004 and while for some people that means a well-earned rest, I'm stuck doing chores for Gracie and the new arrival. Go figure. In any event, as the new year draws closer, I wish you all a happy and safe break. Go easy on the food and likewise on the roads if you're going out and about.

Posted by a very festive MadDog on Monday December 22, 2003 at 9:57 PM - 1 comments

Jewel's Boobies

Jewel and her jewelsWhile cleaning out my Inbox this morning, I came across an email I received many months ago by a guy called Alexander The Poet. He came across Planet MadDog on a search for like-minded people who also dug Jewel because of her great boobies. To commemorate Jewel's new "Intuition" album and also her new skin-flashingly groovy image, Alexander has written the following poem, which I'd like to share with you now.

"My Intuition Of Jewel" by Alexander The Poet
May 2, 2003

When you first came on the scene,
I thought you looked so damn f'n hot
I got wood, know what I mean,
By looking at your net pics a lot

Your huge boobs seemed to stand out,
Did you get them down in Alaska?
I knew what you were about,
All day you'd yodel and la la la

So now you have decided,
To go on and change your whole image
Girl, why'd you ever hide it?,
You do have some real nice fine cleavage

Now that you've joined the real world,
Where showing skin and sex always sell
I still think you're a sweet girl,
That's my intuition of, Jewel


Posted by a very poetic MadDog on Tuesday December 16, 2003 at 12:09 PM - 1 comments

Pre-fatherhood rant. Pleae bear with me.

Elmo Free Zone. Any Elmos will be shot and skinned on sight.It's my birthday today, and I should be happy and jovial, but you know what? I'm not. I've got a little something I want to get off my chest.

You know what's wrong with kids today? They just don't have the same quality entertainment that we had when I was growing up. Oh, I'm sure that the kids of today just love their brightly coloured ponces, prancing around, singing songs about... whatever the hell they're singing about, but that's only because a) they don't know any better, and b) television networks have realised that they can continue to rake in the spondooli while keeping kids happy by flashing some flourescent, dimwitted, baby talking freaks on the screen and forget about actually educating them in these developmental years of their childhood. "What the hell is your point?" I hear you ask. Well, I may not exactly have one to speak of exactly, but I believe I can sum up what I'm feeling in one simple sentance.

Where the HELL is Grover?

Grover was anything and everything to me as a toddler. Super Grover was my hero. Grover the waiter made me laugh. He was the worlds most lovable monster, but no! They had to go and give that title to a small, red, retarded red monster with a speech impediment. They tossed Grover into the has-been bin with the Fraggles, Forgetful Jones, Kermit's reporter hat and trenchcoat, and the other Muppets that have outgrown their usefulness. Honestly, what is Elmo going to teach the children of the world? How to speak about oneself in the third person? That the best way to solve a problem in life is to retreat into a psychadelic world of imagination? Please. Elmo needs to be killed, skinned and made into a new red cape for Super Grover.

I would give anything to bring back the old Seseme Street. I've had the misfortune to watch a few episodes of the new one recently, and I have to say that it totally sucks sphincter. Seseme Street is on the PBS network in the States, which I believe runs on donations from pledge drives, and also merchandising. As soon as they realised that they can earn squeeze money from merchndising the Seseme Street brand, marketing executives threw all resposibility aside and devised Elmo. Chi-ching! Elmo clothing. Chi-ching! Elmo dolls. Chi-ching! Tickle-me-Elmo dolls. Chi-ching! Elmo wears a chicken suit while singing a shitty song dolls. Chi-ching!

This doesn't bother me as much as the way that they've changed the format of the show. To me, it seems that they've taken the best bits out and replaced it with advertising for merchandise dressed as sedative mind candy. Every episode, there's a lame 10 minute segment with just Elmo singing and dancing on a multi-coloured computer generated back-drop. My baby will be born in about 2 months time. Do you think I'm going to subject my kid to the hypercolour, hyperbolic, hyperactive vomit that is the new Seseme Street? That was a rhetorical question.

They need more celebrity guests, and I'm not talking the likes of Beyonce bloody Knowles, who I saw on there the other day. I'm talking superstar James Taylor singing up on a rooftop. I'm talking Gary Coleman, Pee Wee Herman, Tony Danza. That's the uber-calibre of celebrity I'm talkin 'bout. Bring back the two-headed monster, for God's sake. Thanks to them, I could read before I could talk. It's about education, see? Won't somebody please think of the children?

I can't believe they also cut out the subtle homoeroticism between Ernie and Bert, two close "friends" sharing an apartment. It was like Ernie was the simple, friendly, straight guy, unknowingly sending out mixed signals to the frustrated, uptight, closet gay muppet, Bert. I bet he secretly peeked through the keyhole to the bathroom during Ernie's rubber duckie sessions. Poor Bert would get more and more confused about his homosexual tendancies. And then one day he was silenced. How often is Bert on Seseme Street these days? I've only seen a couple of episodes lately, but he wasn't on either of those. If anyone knows, please let me know if Bert is okay. I'm a little concerned.

Maybe Elmo killed Bert. I wouldn't put it past the furry little fucker.

Posted by a very angry MadDog on Tuesday December 2, 2003 at 11:10 PM - 2 comments

Today is a good day.

So, I'm on this Summer Kick-Start soup diet that's all the rave these days. It's nothing new to me, though. I tried it back before it was ever mentioned on Today Tonight or in New Idea magazine. It was apparently a hospital diet they imposed on overweight patients so they can lose weight quickly before surgery. Last time I tried the diet, it was with a slightly different recipe for the all-important vegetable soup which forms the very backbone of the diet, which consisted mostly of boiled cabbage. Of course, because I couldn't stomach the soup, this diet lasted for about 4 out of the 7 days befor I headed to KFC, but this time the soup recipe contains no cabbage, so I decided to give it another go.

This time, I've lasted the entire 7 days without cheating once. I am the embodiment of will-power, I shit you not. The soup was a little more tolerable this time around, but I'm getting really sick of it. I reallyn have to force it down sometimes, but I keep thinking of the results. According to the diet, if you don't cheat you should lose between 4 to 6 kilograms depending on how much weight you have to lose. The way the diet is written, it seems tailored to people who are really overweight and offers such handy tips as "Slow down when you eat to give your stomach a chance to let your brain know that it is full", "Don't buy foods you don't want to eat", and my favorite "Once you have served your meal put the remaining food away so it is out of sight". Honestly, they might as well say "Don't go to bed with a roasted turkey next you".

But I digress. The ultimate question is: Did I lose any weight? I decided not to weigh myself throughout the week, but only at the end of the seven days. Well, week one ended last night and I'm pleased to say that over the past week I have lost 5 kilos (11 pounds). Now, that's only a quarter of the amount that I want to lose, but I think it's a good, healthy start. So what next? Well, apparently you're not supposed to stay on the diet for more than one week, two tops, and no more than 3 weeks in a six month period, but theres a week-two running in New Idea which is similar to week one but re-introduces things like grilled bacon and eggs back into the diet. I guess I'll just stick to it while my will-power holds up, although I could have picked a better time than over Christmas to diet.

Posted by a very accomplished MadDog on Tuesday November 11, 2003 at 2:30 PM - 2 comments

The life and times of a tubby bitch

I went clothes shopping on Saturday morning. I bought a whole bunch of really great looking clothes too. I even got them at a great price. $110 for two pairs of cargos, two T-shirts and a button-up collar shirt. Normally some new duds to show off would make me feel pretty good, but Saturday morning was marked as a black day for me; a day that will live on forever in infamy.

I bought my first XXL sized article of clothing.

I can't say I'm entirely surprised, really. My diet has a lot of room for improvement. I don't think I'm about to start eating grapefruit, but more frequent, smaller portions seems to be the way to go to get the metabolism going. Apart from walking two blocks to work each morning I get little to no exercise, although I enjoy walking Maddi around the lake every now and then, but even so, I haven't done that in a while. Gracie thinks it may be her fault, as pregnancy has left her with a diminished appitite and she often palms half of her meal off onto me (which I dutifully consume like the good husband I am). Personally, I think I've just become a lazy, tubby bitch who needs to stop eating so much and do some stomach crunches once in a while. I'd like to do some more walking, but arthritis in my ankles and knees make that very difficult. Cycling may be the way to go, and a bit of swimming when it gets warmer. I might even get a Dance-Dance Revolution mat for the PS2 and boogie my way to more shapely hips, thighs and buttocks. I'm not after rock-hard abba-dabbas, but if I could get back to looking the way I did seven years ago, I'll be happy.

Posted by a very bloated MadDog on Monday October 20, 2003 at 9:40 AM - 7 comments

Belated 18 Week Ultrasound

TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER... or failing that, your dermatologist.
Is this the face of an ancient alien civilisation?

Click here to download yet another commemorative movie file. And what ultrasound movie would be complete without the obligitory dodgy soundtrack.
Windows Media Format (5.8MB)

Well, actually we're more along the lines of 23 weeks or something now, but it's taken me this long to make this nice little movie file of the routine 18-week ultrasound video, thanks to the crashtastic Windows Movie Maker, and to the recent re-arrangement of my living room (all my video cables are not where they used to be). The ultrasound technician gave a running commentary of the ultrasound which I believe was to be recorded with the video footage, but alas, never made it to the tape, so I added a few titles to explain what you're looking at (not to mention a little bit of karaoke).

While things seem to be going really well, Gracie's still pretty crook. She got over the morning/all-day sickness, and has now moved on to the reflux phase, which we're told will only get worse right up to birth. Baby is about 20cms from head to bunghole, which sounds huge. She should have fully-formed eyelids, eyebrows and fingernails by now, which is great, because I thinking having those things is pretty neat. The skin layer has also fully formed at this stage, which is also handy to have, although the fat layer has not, making the bub look like she's been in the bath too long.

Most days, Gracie can be found walking around the house hiccupping, muttering about being the size of a house, huccupping some more, cleaning the house and swearing at her hiccups. She's been getting a bit of back pain so she's seen a physio who specialises in preganancy. She says the baby is kicking (she says kick-boxing actually), but only internally, so theres nothing for me to feel just yet.


  1. I get to play with action figures and video games while pretending to be a father.
  2. Permission to demand a bite of any icecream or chocolate bar in your child's possession "just to check if it's poisoned".
  3. I'll have someone to cut my toe nails when my beer gut gets too fat to do them myself.
  4. I'll finally be able to use all the "dad jokes" I've been storing in the back of my brain all these years.
  5. The existence of a money box, within your house, from which funds may be "borrowed" at crucial times, such as when beer supplies run low.
  6. I'm always willing to try anything once.
  7. Paediatricians seem like good enough people. They deserve new BMWs.
  8. Our neighbours don't complain enough.
  9. A legitimate excuse to watch Hi-5. Phwoaarr...
  10. Finally put my Sega Rally skills into practice taking kids to school/sports/ballet within a tight schedule.
Posted by a very sassy MadDog on Friday October 10, 2003 at 9:32 AM - 2 comments

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