Intestinal Donor

Intestinal Donor

Now this is one weird-ass dream...

I'd bought this giant toolbox with wheels on it. I dont know why, but I knew it was going to come in handy. Then I noticed everyone had these little double-doors on their stomachs. I asked someone what they were for and she said it was so she could make donations easier. I said "I'll be in that!" so I called the doctor. The doctor lady came and said I was to be a donor of intestinal tissue.

The doctor said that the operation had been delayed and I would have to wait. Then I walked around telling everyone how excited I was to have this operation done. I can't remember who I spoke to or what I said exactly (I really should have written it down this morning when it was still fresh in my mind). While I was waiting for the doctor to be ready, I was floating around on a lilo in the middle of this big indoor swimming pool feeling pretty excited. Finally I paddled over to the doctor lady and asked what we were waiting for. She said "We need the operating instruments!". I was getting pretty impatient so I pulled out the huge toolbox on wheels and said "Here they are!". She said "Great!" and hopped into the pool. I tossed the toolbox beside me in the pool and it started to float. The doctor opened up the toolbox and started to operate.

The operation involved cutting a small square in my belly with a scalpel. She tossed away the square of skin and stuff, and pulled a melon-baller out of the toolbox. She stuck it into the hole, twisted it, and retrieved a little ball of my intestines. Finally, she got out the little doors and popped them over the hole. All of this was done without any form of anesthetic, but I didn't feel a thing. As I went to leave, the doctor told me to keep the doors closed, cause weird shit can get inside and make me feel sick.

I'll never eat out-of-date hot dogs before bed again.


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